So, I'm going to be a new mommy again! Excited? Maybe, just a little. Anxious? Yes! I'm extremely ready to have this baby and start this new journey with the new love of my life.
This pregnancy is totally different than my first (Noelle, 4 years old). I am on speaking terms with the baby's father, I am employed (with a great job), and I live on my own- basically I'm independent! Seems great when I consider it, but going through this is still a whirlwind of straight mental chaos and emotional typhoons!
Dude!
The baby daddy and I, or me and this kids father, is so complicated. Its like I have to like him for the fact that I would appreciate if he sticks around (unlike Noelle's sperm donor- whom she never met ever), and I have to treat with some type of respect. On the other hand, I am totally in love him, but in a I don't want to ever be with you (but your still supposed to be single) kind of way. In all honesty, I think he may be a good father to my child, I believe in him. Yet, he didn't do A. B, and C correctly (the way I wanted it done) so he doesn't deserve me or my child's time. Crazy!
This awesome job of mine is the reason why I hate getting out of bed everyday. I dread having to be there, yet love my work! I get paid great, have excellent benefits, awesome co-workers, and can listen to music the whole time I'm there. I feel like I'm the stupidest person in the building, until I start getting work touched by other reps (then I feel like they are idiots for misspelling an abbreviated word). Then I have a moment where I get so mad at myself for judging their thought, and consider there's times I probably didn't do all the necessary research I should have, and could have messed a claim up with laziness. Weird!
So to sum this pregnancy up: I am an internal disaster who loves and hates in every encounter. Which basically means I'm having a wonderful pregnancy.
No comments:
Post a Comment