Monster!!

  So I now realize that the terrible things I see going on, I only notice because they are the horrible things I used to do and say. I can't speak for everybody (unfortunately), but when I became aware  that I was becoming a mother- that's when the true colors of this ugly world became 20/20 to my sight. Especially when you are bringing a girl in to this crazy world. What's worse, is that I fear because I was one of the most active forces in contributing ugly, and terror, into this world that I know fear to set my baby free in. Is that hypocritical that I assume all ugly to the world because I was an unfavorable citizen at one time? Or, is that a sign to help me realize that I have grown in to a better person since that time of my life. Or, perhaps both?

  I become disgusted with the characters that I can identify with greatly if I was in my bad girl mindset. I try not to make it a judgmental thing, like I said I try, but I can't help to feel that if the person is a mother somewhere there is a child that is neglected. When I say neglected I do not necessarily mean abused, impoverished, or weak; I mean neglected of a parent who could try to choose that child to do what's right in life, and not use crime to supplement where you lack educationally, mentally, or sensibly.

  I'm glad I had to be the monster to see the monster's that are lurking in our streets. I'm glad that I got to live, so that when, or if, it ever comes a time when the wolf tries to pull wool over my eyes, I will be on top of the "slick-shit"! I'll tell the world that I have lived a very fulfilling life, and have no regrets, yet made plenty of crazy, stupid, and funny mistakes. I'm proud nevertheless.